Lets Get it Started in Here
Usually, it's good to laugh...whether it's at the hilarious new direct-to-DVD Pauly Shore movie, or at an old friend who's just broken his femur in a tragic (but funny) waffle-eating accident. But sometimes you feel guilty for laughing...especially when it involves retarded people.
True story #1, June 2006: so we're watching game 3 of the Stanley Cup finals, Edmonton vs. Carolina, and it's the first game being played in Edmonton. We're over at another couple's apartment who happen to be from Illinois, having a good time as we get ready for the game to start, even though they're cheering for Carolina since they clearly have terrible taste in hockey teams. Finally, the pre-game show ends and they cut to Rexall Place in Edmonton...everyone is cheering, standing up, and the atmosphere is electric. The fat singer guy (Paul Oriel?) sings the American anthem with the fans cheering him on. Then he starts into the Canadian anthem...and after the first verse, raises the microphone to the crowd. Every person in the arena is singing along, and it's a truly unique and Canadian moment. The TV cameras cut to Joey Moss, who is absolutely singing his heart out, giving it everything he has. It's absolutely heartwarming to see him singing the anthem with so much enthusiasm, proud to be Canadian and proud to be part of the Oilers.
My friend: "Hahahahahaha! Look at that guy sing! Hahahaha! He looks hilarious! Hahah! Man, what's wrong with that guy???"
-- long pause --
Me: "That's Joey Moss......he's retarded."
-- long pause --
My friend: "Uhhh...oh...that's sweet...."
-- laughter erupts --
True Story #2, August 2006: So we're playing ultimate in Boston, out at our usual field which we've been playing on all season. The game is about 3/4 over and we're well on our way to another loss as usual. All of a sudden, everyone starts yelling "hold on, hold on" as two random guys have walked into the endzone. Someone politely asks them to walk around the field, but the two random guys just stand there. Confused looks are exchanged. The random guys are again asked to walk around the field, to which they reply "no, it's OUR field!" By this time people are really confused, especially since the two random guys are acting REALLY strange...one guy is holding his arm close to his body, walking unevenly, and slurring his speech. The two random guys insist that they in fact have a permit for the field, and that WE are on THEIR field, and that we should leave. Tempers flare, and a couple of the ultimate players decide to forcibly remove the random guys from the field.
From the sidelines, Annie Kim is heard to remark... "HEY, why is everyone beating up on those two retarded kids???"
Turns out they weren't retarded, just drunk and high, but I can understand her mistake!
True Story #3, August 2006: So we're over at a friend's place for a barbeque, and he's telling us about this 30-year-old guy who lives near his building that's always riding around on bikes that are three sizes too small with a helmet that's seven sizes too small, at all times of the day and night. Quote... "Yeah, we thought he was retarded for a really long time, but it turns out he just likes riding around on bikes."
Oh man, those stories aren't that funny, and I feel shame.
True story #1, June 2006: so we're watching game 3 of the Stanley Cup finals, Edmonton vs. Carolina, and it's the first game being played in Edmonton. We're over at another couple's apartment who happen to be from Illinois, having a good time as we get ready for the game to start, even though they're cheering for Carolina since they clearly have terrible taste in hockey teams. Finally, the pre-game show ends and they cut to Rexall Place in Edmonton...everyone is cheering, standing up, and the atmosphere is electric. The fat singer guy (Paul Oriel?) sings the American anthem with the fans cheering him on. Then he starts into the Canadian anthem...and after the first verse, raises the microphone to the crowd. Every person in the arena is singing along, and it's a truly unique and Canadian moment. The TV cameras cut to Joey Moss, who is absolutely singing his heart out, giving it everything he has. It's absolutely heartwarming to see him singing the anthem with so much enthusiasm, proud to be Canadian and proud to be part of the Oilers.
My friend: "Hahahahahaha! Look at that guy sing! Hahahaha! He looks hilarious! Hahah! Man, what's wrong with that guy???"
-- long pause --
Me: "That's Joey Moss...
-- long pause --
My friend: "Uhhh...oh...that's sweet...."
-- laughter erupts --
True Story #2, August 2006: So we're playing ultimate in Boston, out at our usual field which we've been playing on all season. The game is about 3/4 over and we're well on our way to another loss as usual. All of a sudden, everyone starts yelling "hold on, hold on" as two random guys have walked into the endzone. Someone politely asks them to walk around the field, but the two random guys just stand there. Confused looks are exchanged. The random guys are again asked to walk around the field, to which they reply "no, it's OUR field!" By this time people are really confused, especially since the two random guys are acting REALLY strange...one guy is holding his arm close to his body, walking unevenly, and slurring his speech. The two random guys insist that they in fact have a permit for the field, and that WE are on THEIR field, and that we should leave. Tempers flare, and a couple of the ultimate players decide to forcibly remove the random guys from the field.
From the sidelines, Annie Kim is heard to remark... "HEY, why is everyone beating up on those two retarded kids???"
Turns out they weren't retarded, just drunk and high, but I can understand her mistake!
True Story #3, August 2006: So we're over at a friend's place for a barbeque, and he's telling us about this 30-year-old guy who lives near his building that's always riding around on bikes that are three sizes too small with a helmet that's seven sizes too small, at all times of the day and night. Quote... "Yeah, we thought he was retarded for a really long time, but it turns out he just likes riding around on bikes."
Oh man, those stories aren't that funny, and I feel shame.
posted by Dexter at
5:35 a.m.
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4 comments
